I'm 18 and this is where I write about my problems.. If you don't like it, don't look at it. Lovely..

 

I’m still depressed; But you don’t know.

I still skip meals; You don’t know.

I continue to hate myself everyday; You don’t care.

I’m still sick; What you say to me doesn’t help.

Day one: Your stats.

Height: 5’3”

Highest Weight: 130 lbs

Current Weight: 122 lbs.. fuck you.

Lowest Weight: 108… Ohhh I was soooo skinny.

Chocolate Milk

I was having a good day until I saw you in the fridge.

Fuck you chocolate milk.

FAT.

It started out as just wanting to lose a little bit of weight so I could feel good in my own skin.

But soon the weight loss took over my life and I couldn’t stop.

I didn’t want to eat. I lost my period, my body was always cold, hands and feet were blue.

My skin was pale.. My eyes hollow. 

I know I can never go back to being the girl who didn’t care about what she ate, or what other people were thinking about her.

I’m stuck being the girl that starves herself in order to finally feel good. 

~

I can’t even remember when I last signed in to this tumblr account.. Must have been early January, since I said I weighed 109. Now I weigh around 114. 

I’m happier now, although I still suffer a lot from stress and anxiety. 

I no longer starve myself all the time, but I know if I was left alone, I wouldn’t eat anything. That’s the thing, I’m an adult… and everyone is my life practically orders me to eat.

I always regret eating, even if it’s something healthy. 

Wish I weighed 109 again..