You don’t know how much it hurts me when you say things like that to me. Or maybe you do? You can obviously see the tears running down my face when you make those comments and what do you do???? You ignore it. I want you to kiss me, you never do. But if you do, it’s a little peck, not even a good kiss?
I don’t understand, I just don’t know what to do about this! I feel like you don’t love me sometimes, maybe its just myself..
This needs to be fixed. I lied to you about not wanting to eat because I’m scared! I’m worried you’ll try to make me eat.. I’m worried you’ll get mad at me :(
Okay, so a lot of things have been going on in my mind lately.. So much so, that I’m feeling on the verge of panic attacks again. First of all, I hate how I look. But not the normal kind of hate, the kind of hate that makes me burst into tears because I am absolutely disgusted by my own appearance. I dislike every little part of me and I know that there is nothing I can do about it. (Ahem, fat ass.) The second thing is the feeling I get that everything could fall apart in a second, one wrong move and I have no boyfriend. One wrong move and I’m stuck in this fucking hell hole for the rest of my life. I gotta stop eating, why do people force me to eat?? Can’t they just leave me alone?! Another thing is the way my mother acts so disappointed in me with every decision I make. Like she should be the one to choose every single step I take, I’m a fucking adult thank you, leave me alone.. As well, I’ve developed a major fear of the scale and I refuse to see what I weigh because I know I cannot change it. My depression is getting worse and all I’m doing about it is looking up weight loss supplements that probably aren’t even shipped to where I live. Rather than going to a doctor to get anti-depressants.
I spent last night crying again. My mum and I were talking then she asked what was wrong because I “looked sad and depressed”. I assured her I was fine, but within a few seconds of saying that I broke down and began to sob.
I cried because I had not felt more alone in years. I cried because I…
43046) I’ve been better for a good x months. Then today, I tried on old jeans that didn’t fit anymore, stopped eating and went to the gym for x hours. I’m trapped in a horrible cycle and I don’t know how to get out.
I am 5’3”. Sometimes I like my height.. Like when people comment on the fact that I’m small. But then I don’t like my height sometimes because short people have a more difficult time being skinny because I guess weight is proportioned differently on smaller people. But then again, if I was taller, I don’t think my boyfriend would have asked me out because he’s short too hahaha.
01. Your stats. 02. How tall are you? Do you like your height? 03. A picture of your thinspiration. What features do you like about this person? 04. Your greatest fears about weight loss. 05. Why do you really want to lose this weight? Are you doing it for you? 06. Do you binge? If so, explain why you think you do. 07. Do your parents know you’re trying to lose weight? Do they care? 08. Your workout routine. 09. Did people ever make comments about your weight in a negative way? 10. What was the hardest thing you gave up during this weight loss. 11. Your favourite thinspo blog and why! 12. What do you normally eat? 13. Are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way? 14. What’s your UGW? When do you expect to reach it? 15. Are you vegan or vegetarian? If so, has this helped you lose weight? If not, would you ever consider turning vegan or vegetarian? 16. When did you first decide to lose weight? 17. Do you have an eating disorder? 18. What food is your weakness? 19. When is the last time you ate fast food? 20. Favourite diet? 21. What are your clothing sizes? 22. What was your lowest weight? How and why did you gain? 23. Did the media play a role in your wanting to lose weight? 24. How do you feel about the terms pro-ana/pro-mia 25. Have you ever purged? If you have, describe your first experience. 26. What excites you most about reaching your UGW? 27. How do you deal with being around food? 28. Do you want that gap between your legs? Why? 29. Your definition of beauty. 30. 10 facts about you! And now, what are your stats?
Yes I want to talk to you! No I do not want to break up. Why is it so hard to tell whether you’re joking or not?? You make me insecure when you say shit like that and you don’t even know it. I love you so much that it kills me, it tears me apart to think about me being without you so please understand that I am and will always be faithful and loyal to you. I will love you for the rest of my life.
Please don’t do that to me. Just be happy that I’m not one of those girls. I will never cheat on you. Ever.
I don’t care, I don’t care about what you’re saying I don’t give a fuck. Stop talking to me, don’t ask me about what’s wrong, I’m not gonna fucking tell you. I do not give a shit about you. Shut the fuck up.
I cannot believe how much birth control fucked me up. I never used to cry this much and now I cry everyday. My boyfriend thinks that he’s the one making me cry but he’s not the reason!! This fucking birth control made me gain 10 pounds, I used to eat good. But I can eat so much now and never get full.. Fuck. I’m getting new B.C tomorrow and hopefully I can lose that 10 pounds.. Maybe even 13??